Why Self-Awareness is Essential for Success in Every Leader

Leaders who develop their sense of self-awareness are better at making decisions and are seen as trustworthy, writes LaRae Quy.

As a new FBI agent, I was thrilled when I got the opportunity to work undercover. I’d seen all the movies and read all the stories about undercover work so I jumped at the chance for additional training at the FBI Academy. Imagine my disappointment when I spent the entire first week taking tests to determine my level of self-awareness! What happened to scissor kicks and wrestling criminals to the ground? Instead, I learned many important things about myself which is critical in undercover work. The FBI needed agents who could land on their feet when confronted with the unknown, agents who knew themselves well enough to predict their response in a crisis.

An effective leader is a person who takes responsibility for what is going on inside of them so their reactions do not sabotage them. This self-awareness helps them discover what lies beneath the surface of their lives so they can recognize and regulate behaviors that don’t set them up for success. Since self-awareness makes it possible for leaders to understand the impact of their actions on others, it also helps them develop a natural compass for guiding their decisions. 

Let’s take a closer look at why successful leaders need self-awareness:

1. Understand our life story

Psychologists have begun to focus on a new field of research called narrative identity. The stories we tell ourselves about our lives don’t just shape our personalities — they are our personalities.

Our narrative identity integrates our reconstructed past with our imagined future to give us purpose and direction in life. When we understand our life’s story, we begin to find redemptive meanings to the suffering and adversity we’ve faced in life in the past. When we confront life’s challenges, those redemptive meanings help to develop our self-awareness.

Our calling is inextricably interwoven with our personal story. We find our passion and drive through the uniqueness of our life stories. They enable authentic leaders to know who they are and stay focused on their true north.

Our calling emerges from who we really are—before we can be adept at doing, we need to be adept at being because calling is, first and foremost, the calling to be ourselves. Vocation does not come from a voice out there telling us to be something we are not. It comes from a voice inside telling us to be the person we were born to be.

How to make it work for you: 

• Look at your early life story and identify the people, events and experiences that impacted you the most. 
• In what situations do you find yourself a natural leader? 
• How do you look at the setbacks in your life?
• What have they taught you? About yourself? About others?

2. Encourage honesty

From the self-awareness exercises at the FBI Academy, I learned that I’m an overachiever and need constant approval from my peers. The independent and sophisticated image I tried to project to others didn’t reflect the reality of what lay beneath. Once I was honest with myself, I had to acknowledge my insecurities and vulnerabilities without judgment to survive on the streets as an undercover agent.

Our dark side is a natural result of human development. The inner, darker urges of our personality often go unexamined or remain unknown to us until we experience an emotional outburst. 

How to make it work for you: 

Name the experiences that have shaped you. Our childhood is Boot Camp training for life because some of the best hints about who we really are come from childhood and youth memories.

Trace the patterns beneath the emotions, thoughts and behaviors holding you back now when they first surfaced in childhood. What triggered them?

3. Build trust and credibility

If leaders are honest with themselves and others, they are more likely to be seen as authentic, fair and trustworthy. By recognizing their mistakes and limitations and being willing to acknowledge them openly, they build trust and credibility with both their teams and stakeholders.

Self-awareness enables leaders to acknowledge how their strengths impact expectations — their own and the expectations of their people. This transparency allows teams to learn how to recognize each other’s strengths and work with their collective strengths to achieve results.

How to make it work for you: Take a sheet of paper and write down three things that stand out about you and three that need improvement. Then, ask three trusted colleagues to share the same observations about you. 

4. Improve decision-making

The self-awareness I developed as an undercover agent equipped me to make better decisions because I understood my biases. By being aware of my prejudices and assumptions, I could make fair and inclusive decisions. This was particularly important in situations where my choices had a significant impact on others. 

Self-aware leaders can manage their emotions, which is crucial for rational decisions, especially under pressure. Once a decision-maker understands their feelings surrounding a decision, they can decide whether those emotions are appropriate.

A person does not “lose their head” in the heat of the moment. Instead, they lose awareness of what they are feeling. But it’s not enough for them to simply be aware of their emotions; they need to use this understanding to shape the situation effectively. For a leader making decisions, this means the ability to assess which emotions can enhance their thinking and which ones can sabotage them.

Self-awareness enables leaders to remain calm and focused, preventing personal feelings from clouding their judgment. This emotional stability is vital in high-stress environments where clear-headed decision-making is essential.

How to make it work for you: 

• Stay curious. 
• Question your assumptions. 
• Look for positive aspects. 
• Research things you need clarification on.
• Ask relevant questions of people who are more experienced on the topic than yourself or hold a differing opinion.

Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.

Written by:  LaRae Quy, an FBI undercover and counterintelligence agent for 24 years, for SmartBrief.